You Will Need:

• 1 above-ground pool
• 5,000 gallons of water, chlorinated
• bathing suits
• goggles (optional)
• anywhere from 5-10 sons/daughters/nieces/nephews (Kids)
• 1 year’s worth of spare change, preferably collected in glass jar

Directions:

1. Fill your container with water, and bring to a comfortable temperature.
2. Assemble your Kids off to the side with bathing suits and goggles (optional), let marinate in anticipation.
3. Take your jar of coins, filled with money from yard sales, change from the grocery store, laundry money, etc.  Sprinkle generously into your container (for richer flavor, add more quarters).
4. The Kids should be properly marinated now.  Place them in the pool, but before submerging them, spin them around with their eyes closed.
5. Once properly disoriented, let the Kids submerge to soak up all of those coins for that rich flavor.
6. Remove Kids, now Spoiled Rotten, and serve on lawn chairs with anywhere from $10 to $30 in change to be counted.  Serves entire family.

Still waters run deep, vibrant and clear.
What separates water from sky anymore?
The world is always quiet here.

Go find your moonlit face in the mirror.
Sit down on that generous white-sand shore.
Still waters run deep, vibrant and clear.

You won’t find such peace but this time of the year.
An unplucked harp string wound tight to the core.
The world is always quiet here.

No ripples are born, though you’re sitting so near.
Not one wayward boat, no paddle, no oar.
Still waters run deep, vibrant and clear.

You could stand, walk out on water.  You fear
the hubris of joy.  Riches make you poor.
The world is always quiet here.

It’s a secret to everyone, far and near,
the opposite end of the earth’s cellar door.
Still waters run deep, vibrant and clear.
The world is always quiet here.

​Since I wasn't publishing my little Pokémon story anywhere else, I thought I'd share it here on my website for all to enjoy!

Urchins of Cinnibar

Not many people know about the poor on Cinnibar island.  Mostly we just get a lot of trainers in here, rolling into town surfing on a water Pokémon or flying on a winged one, coming in to fight Blaine.  They’re the good ones, too.  Blaine’s the seventh gym leader in Kanto, which means they’ve fought and beaten six others.

There goes my career as a Pokémon trainer!

Not a lot of people taking the Pokémon gym challenge come out of Cinnibar.  It’s not a very good place to start, because anyone around is way better than you.  Hard to train a Pokémon to get strong enough to make the surf to Pallet or Fuschia.  So I hang out here with my little guy Loki.  He’s an Eevee.  Don’t ask me how I got him, because no one ever believes me anyway.  I saved up the money for a Pokéball, and kept it with me for years, just waiting for something other than a Krabby or a Tentacool to use it on.  Luckily, the coastline of Cinnibar was chalk full of the weirdest Pokémon.  My buddy Ralph swore on his life that he saw a Hypno there once.  But I found that Eevee late one night, when no one else was out.

It was weak, soaked, and barely awake.  I caught it just to take it to the Pokémon center, because I was too tired to carry it otherwise.  I kept thinking about what it could be.  Maybe an albino Growlithe, or a fluffy Meowth.  No way could it be a rare Pokémon.  Thus the name, Loki, the trickster.  Nurse Joy gave me a good scolding for letting it get to that condition, but she was nice enough to build up the fire and let me stay the night.

​You are paid to be a waitress, even though there is no need for a waitress in a strip club.  You socialize, and soak in the atmosphere.  You make friends with the dancers, and even with the regulars.  The boss treats you well but doesn’t pay you much.  Still, can you blame him?  You feel bad that you aren’t exactly doing anything.  And you need more money.

* * *

I am the boss.  I am the manager.  I need some help filling in tonight.  You don’t even have to disrobe, just get up there on stage and mess around.  Try out the pole, pick a song, and just have fun.  The girls will give you some tips on what to do.  The guys will love it.  You don’t even have to disrobe.

I am the Doorman.  I’m a nice guy, a fit guy, and I’ve never given you a second glace.  You feel safe with me around.  I walk you to your car when you’re done with your shift.  I keep an eye on things in the club.  I am your security here, I am the mortar that holds these four walls together, that allows you to flirt with danger but remain unscathed.  It’s only fair that you tip me a little for my services.

I am Chastity.  I tell you how pretty you are and what a good dancer you would make.  I show you just how much money I rake in a night, and I offer you whatever you need to make the night go by easier.  But you’re just a waitress, you don’t need a drunk or high to get through the night.

I am Bill.  I’m a regular with Chastity, but I’ve noticed you around the club too.  I tell you what a great body you have and that I’d love to see more of it.  You tell me that you’re just a waitress, and I nod, but go on telling you how beautiful you are.

I am your naked body in the mirror.  They’re right.  I am beautiful.