(A priest holding hands with other men. No homo.) By Father Moriarty
The Catholic Church always gets a bad rap for our anti-gay views, oftentimes more so than Christianity as a whole. What those men who enjoy the intimate company of men do not understand is this: we love you. We love all gay men, for are they not merely gay sheep in the flock of our heterosexual Lord? It is merely your actions that we do not approve of.
The Catholic Church always gets a bad rap for our anti-gay views, oftentimes more so than Christianity as a whole. What those men who enjoy the intimate company of men do not understand is this: we love you. We love all gay men, for are they not merely gay sheep in the flock of our heterosexual Lord? It is merely your actions that we do not approve of.
Our Lord Jesus Christ watches your inappropriate placement of your sacred bodily fluids and sees a child who has not yet learned how not to soil itself. Is a tree any less perfect because it is a sapling? Is a homosexual man any less a child of God if he shoves various household items up where the Lord’s light does not shine or gargles the balls of unfamiliar men? No. He merely has yet to understand that these actions are sinful.
Marriage was intended as a sacred union between one man and one woman, for the purpose of procreation. But how can you add to God’s flock when you spread your seed not into a fertile field, but into a sewage disposal unit? What good will your semen do, not in a woman’s vagina, but spilled carelessly all over someone's face and chest?
We deny you your man-on-man activities because we know that it will send you to hell. You may live your life in the euphoria of squeezing a man’s buttocks as you perform fellatio, or bent over a table as a naked man pounds himself into you, but is this sexual ecstasy really worth it if it condemns you to eternal hellfire? Imprisoned in a hot, steamy nether region, likely with a crowd of those who have committed the same sins. There, Satan will punish you with various tools, such as whips and gags, bind your hands, and assault your quivering, sweaty, youthful body for all eternity.
You see, gay men? We do this because we care for you, because we truly, deep in our hearts, love you.
Marriage was intended as a sacred union between one man and one woman, for the purpose of procreation. But how can you add to God’s flock when you spread your seed not into a fertile field, but into a sewage disposal unit? What good will your semen do, not in a woman’s vagina, but spilled carelessly all over someone's face and chest?
We deny you your man-on-man activities because we know that it will send you to hell. You may live your life in the euphoria of squeezing a man’s buttocks as you perform fellatio, or bent over a table as a naked man pounds himself into you, but is this sexual ecstasy really worth it if it condemns you to eternal hellfire? Imprisoned in a hot, steamy nether region, likely with a crowd of those who have committed the same sins. There, Satan will punish you with various tools, such as whips and gags, bind your hands, and assault your quivering, sweaty, youthful body for all eternity.
You see, gay men? We do this because we care for you, because we truly, deep in our hearts, love you.