(Not Pictured: Student With a Major) In a shocking announcement to his parents, twenty-three year old Bentley Anderson revealed that he had still not decided on a major.
Anderson, entering into his fifth year of college at the University of Okoboji, admitted his lack of direction when his father asked why he was taking so many courses in philosophy.
“I couldn’t keep it bottled up any longer,” Anderson said. “I’ve led my parents to believe that I was an accounting major for the entirety of my college career. When asked why I wasn’t graduating at the end of senior year, I told them I needed a class that wasn’t available. But the guilt caught up to me.”
Anderson, entering into his fifth year of college at the University of Okoboji, admitted his lack of direction when his father asked why he was taking so many courses in philosophy.
“I couldn’t keep it bottled up any longer,” Anderson said. “I’ve led my parents to believe that I was an accounting major for the entirety of my college career. When asked why I wasn’t graduating at the end of senior year, I told them I needed a class that wasn’t available. But the guilt caught up to me.”
After a miserable experience as a freshman in accounting, he deviated from that path and took a grab bag of exciting classes.
“I’ve had a blast,” he said. “For a while I did culinary arts, but that was just an excuse to use the fancy kitchens. Tried my hand at poetry and found out I was too melodramatic. Theatre was great for meeting chicks, but I couldn’t get over wearing tights so much.”
Anderson has even taken classes for which there is no major at the University of Okoboji. A one-time anthropology course, the experimental indigenous studies program, and three separate semesters of yoga.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve managed to distribute four years of schooling in such a way that I don’t have enough for a single minor, let alone a major. But I think I’ll be okay. My parents are really f***ing rich.”
“I’ve had a blast,” he said. “For a while I did culinary arts, but that was just an excuse to use the fancy kitchens. Tried my hand at poetry and found out I was too melodramatic. Theatre was great for meeting chicks, but I couldn’t get over wearing tights so much.”
Anderson has even taken classes for which there is no major at the University of Okoboji. A one-time anthropology course, the experimental indigenous studies program, and three separate semesters of yoga.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve managed to distribute four years of schooling in such a way that I don’t have enough for a single minor, let alone a major. But I think I’ll be okay. My parents are really f***ing rich.”