Online dating can be a treacherous place, full of desperation, rejection, and dick pics. Some people, men in particular, have had little to no luck on sites such as Tinder, OkCupid, and Black People Meet. However, a recent study in which over 2000 women on such sites were interviewed has provided the answer to these mens' prayers. It set out to identify the single most effective way to get a prospective woman to message you back. The study showed that making clever puns in your profile pic as well as that in that initial message is a guaranteed panty dropper.
If you wish to make use of these failsafe technique yourself, you need to be educated in the art of making puns. Take a look at the suggestive photos below, and choose the correct witty caption to accompany it.
If you wish to make use of these failsafe technique yourself, you need to be educated in the art of making puns. Take a look at the suggestive photos below, and choose the correct witty caption to accompany it.
1. Which of the following captions will allow you to effectively slide right into her DM's?
A. I'm no stranger to piles of rod-shaped objects.
B. My name is Dexter, and I'm a lumberjack.
C. Hello ladies. I've got wood.
A. I'm no stranger to piles of rod-shaped objects.
B. My name is Dexter, and I'm a lumberjack.
C. Hello ladies. I've got wood.
2. What clever play on words will send you down the long winding road to pound town?
A. I'm actually Andy Roddick, Grand Slam singles champion of the 2003 US open.
B. I can juggle like nobody's business.
C. If you want, you can take hold of my big hairy balls.
A. I'm actually Andy Roddick, Grand Slam singles champion of the 2003 US open.
B. I can juggle like nobody's business.
C. If you want, you can take hold of my big hairy balls.
3. Choose the clever phrase guaranteed to arouse her sexually:
A. You know, I have access to large amounts of fertilizer.
B. I grow pot. Want me to hook you up with some dank bud?
C. I'd love to plant my seed in your garden.
A. You know, I have access to large amounts of fertilizer.
B. I grow pot. Want me to hook you up with some dank bud?
C. I'd love to plant my seed in your garden.
4. How would you caption this image to seduce a woman with that silver tongue of yours?
A. Greetings, M'lady. I am a flame sorcerer from the land of Astardodda. Wanna bang?
B. I am the Immortal Iron Fist!
C. I fingered a girl once. She died.
A. Greetings, M'lady. I am a flame sorcerer from the land of Astardodda. Wanna bang?
B. I am the Immortal Iron Fist!
C. I fingered a girl once. She died.
5. Which choice would best advertise your considerable sexual prowess?
A. Do you like moist men?
B. The steroids I take for my olympic swimming career have made me infertile. I'm a great listener, though.
C. You know, I can hold my breath for long periods of time when I go down under.
A. Do you like moist men?
B. The steroids I take for my olympic swimming career have made me infertile. I'm a great listener, though.
C. You know, I can hold my breath for long periods of time when I go down under.
6. Select the pun most likely to cause a girl's bra to spontaneously unhook:
A. If you make a wish on me, you'll most likely end up disappointed.
B. I may look Dandy, but I'm a Lion in the sack.
C. Blow me?
A. If you make a wish on me, you'll most likely end up disappointed.
B. I may look Dandy, but I'm a Lion in the sack.
C. Blow me?
Answer Key: 1-C, 2-B, 3-C, 4-A, 5-C, 6-B
How did you do? Comment your results below, as well as the number of sexual partners you've had and any embarrassing one night stand stories you can think of.
How did you do? Comment your results below, as well as the number of sexual partners you've had and any embarrassing one night stand stories you can think of.