(Trevor Cordes says his final goodbyes before boarding his ship, The Scurvy Vegan.) OKOBOJI, IA – A heartbreaking farewell is taking place today on the shores of Lake Okoboji. Trevor Cordes, a former insurance adjuster, is leaving behind his life on dry land to join a crew of pirates. This has included quitting his job, vacating his apartment, and sadly, bidding farewell to his longtime girlfriend.
“I just couldn’t live like this anymore,” Cordes told reporters on the dock, with his crew floating just offshore waiting for him. “My job felt soulless. The bills kept piling up. Society kept blaming me and my entire generation for slaughtering entire industries with our buying habits. I just got fed up. So now I’m becoming a pirate.”
“I just couldn’t live like this anymore,” Cordes told reporters on the dock, with his crew floating just offshore waiting for him. “My job felt soulless. The bills kept piling up. Society kept blaming me and my entire generation for slaughtering entire industries with our buying habits. I just got fed up. So now I’m becoming a pirate.”
Cordes and his band of ne’er-do-wells are just a one instance in a long line of counter-cultural movements that have refused to participate in an oppressive society. In Seattle, many young people have chosen homelessness rather than work a full-time job to barely afford rent. All across the country, people have organized political campaigns for fictional figures such as Robin Hood or Cthulhu in response to feeling as though their votes are worthless. Lake piracy is just the latest trend in counter-culture, where young people can take out their frustrations with the rich and powerful by raiding their boats and vacation homes.
“It’s just a load of bullshit,” Cordes’s girlfriend later reported, after hugging him goodbye and watching him sail off. “He’ll be back in a month, a guarantee it. Last year he listened to this crazy guru and went to live Naked in the Woods for a couple of weeks. Then he started to miss indoor plumbing and came running back into my arms. At this point, his job has an open-door policy with him and his occasional existential crisis. I just wish he hadn’t stolen all my good blouses just because they look like ‘Pirate Shirts’.”
“It’s just a load of bullshit,” Cordes’s girlfriend later reported, after hugging him goodbye and watching him sail off. “He’ll be back in a month, a guarantee it. Last year he listened to this crazy guru and went to live Naked in the Woods for a couple of weeks. Then he started to miss indoor plumbing and came running back into my arms. At this point, his job has an open-door policy with him and his occasional existential crisis. I just wish he hadn’t stolen all my good blouses just because they look like ‘Pirate Shirts’.”