("Next time don't forget to bow to your sensei!") Learning a martial art, such as Karate or Tae Kwon Do, is an excellent way to get exercise and learn some self-defense techniques while you’re at it. However, most of these disciplines share a creed of non-violence in daily life. Students are told never to use their incredible power unless there is no other choice.
However, a new fighting style has emerged in recent years that does away with that contradiction. It’s called Kick Him When He’s Down, a martial art targeted at people who like beating the shit out of other people.
However, a new fighting style has emerged in recent years that does away with that contradiction. It’s called Kick Him When He’s Down, a martial art targeted at people who like beating the shit out of other people.
“In my dojo, the moves we learn are not only allowed to be used in everyday life, but encouraged to be,” says Sensei Carl Rousseau, founder of the style. “You get your money’s worth with every cheap shot and dick move I teach you. Rule number one: wear a nut cup, because you never know when you’ll get kicked in the balls. That’s something most of my students learn from experience on their first day of training.”
This unorthodox martial art emphasizes winning the fight at all costs. Some of the moves invented by Sensei Carl include the 3-Hit Sucker Punch Combo, the Fake-Sprain Real-Smack, and Beating a Dead Horse, a series of painful kicks administered to a seemingly defeated opponent.
“This class is for all ages,” he went on. “Some bullies roughing you up at school? I’ll teach you the Look, a UFO + Shin Bash combo. Afraid of being mugged on the way to your car? I can show you the right pressure points to hit to literally make your opponent shit themselves. Other places might convince you to solve a dispute with words rather than fists. Not Sensei Carl. Sensei Carl has a ‘Revenge Class’ for just such occasions.”
Classes start at $39.99 a month, and will give you access to a treasure trove of unique fighting moves that you (legally) can’t learn anywhere else! Shock your enemies with the Surprise, I’m Wearing my Class Ring, the Behind the Back Ball Buster, the Excessive Force Front Kick, the Wet Willy Whack, the Step on the Back of the Shoe Trip-up, the Bitch Slap Cyclone, the Taint Wallop, and many more!
This unorthodox martial art emphasizes winning the fight at all costs. Some of the moves invented by Sensei Carl include the 3-Hit Sucker Punch Combo, the Fake-Sprain Real-Smack, and Beating a Dead Horse, a series of painful kicks administered to a seemingly defeated opponent.
“This class is for all ages,” he went on. “Some bullies roughing you up at school? I’ll teach you the Look, a UFO + Shin Bash combo. Afraid of being mugged on the way to your car? I can show you the right pressure points to hit to literally make your opponent shit themselves. Other places might convince you to solve a dispute with words rather than fists. Not Sensei Carl. Sensei Carl has a ‘Revenge Class’ for just such occasions.”
Classes start at $39.99 a month, and will give you access to a treasure trove of unique fighting moves that you (legally) can’t learn anywhere else! Shock your enemies with the Surprise, I’m Wearing my Class Ring, the Behind the Back Ball Buster, the Excessive Force Front Kick, the Wet Willy Whack, the Step on the Back of the Shoe Trip-up, the Bitch Slap Cyclone, the Taint Wallop, and many more!