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GOP to Overturn Women's Suffrage

5/5/2015

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Picture(Expect one of these to pop up in your hometown.)
In 1920, women’s rights activists changed the political landscape of the nation when the 19th amendment was passed, guaranteeing women the right to vote.  The effects of this are still being felt today, both good and bad.  For one, women have finally been recognized as worthy of holding the same basic rights as men in this country.

However, many politicians will agree that the negatives far outweigh the positives.  It calls into question a state’s right to decide its own laws.  Who are we to tell a state what it can and can’t do with its governing body?

​Many are calling this amendment a “needless overreach by the government” in regards to civil rights.

“There’s simply no need for [the 19th Amendment] anymore,” said speaker of the House of Representatives, John Boehner. “That amendment was made out of necessity in a time when women were not afforded the same rights as men.  But we don’t need the government to hold our hand into a future of equality.  We are there already.”

In a somewhat shocking announcement by the new Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, the 19th Amendment is now on their list of things to repeal, right after the 57th attempt to get rid of Obamacare.

“The federal government is causing more problems than it solves by sticking its hands into this suffrage business,” McConnell said in a press conference. “It’s costing millions in legal fees when states make reasonable attempts to deny women the right to vote and are taken to court.  This Amendment is bankrupting the nation.”

Studies show that a majority of Americans  (53%) believe that there’s no need for promises from the White House that women can vote, according to a Fox News poll.  It also points out that the so-called “wage gap” is just a scam by man-hating lesbians to get more government handouts.  This and other “women’s issues” are covered in-depth in Glenn Beck’s upcoming book, “The Fictional War on Women.”

“This issue is one of the things that makes our nation great,” Boehner said. “The problems that once plagued us, like sexism, racism, and corporate domination of American politics, are all things of the past.  We don’t need the government legally assuring everyone a right to breathe, just faith in the goodness of people. That alone should be enough of a reassurance for women that we will continue to allow you to vote.”
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