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God Smites Frisky Couple

7/28/2015

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Picture(The result of Cliff Anderson's Prayers)
Making an example of promiscuous young people, it is believed that God condemned to death a pair of teenagers.  This took place after weeks of desperate prayer by local farmer Cliff Anderson, who frequently chased kids off of his farm for using it for sex.

“I’d be enjoying a lovely evening listening to the radio with my wife Margot when I’d see them through my window,” Anderson said. “First I thought it was them Ruh-coons making trouble out in the field, until I went and investigated.”

​On multiple occasions, the farmer has stumbled upon a steamy moment unfolding amongst his crops.  He’s tried everything from turning his dogs loose on them to firing his shotgun in the air, to no avail.  The offenders just run before anything can be done.  More often than not, they return the very next night.

“I don’t know what it is about a field of hay that gets them youngin’s so riled up,” he said. “But I’m a good Christian man, and I don’t like sinful behavior going on on my property.  So I started praying.”

God obviously heard the prayers, for He took action against the horny teens.  The punishment was none other than a full-out smiting.  When the farmer finished bailing hay, he noticed two pairs of feet sticking out of the side.

“I get up ‘round 5 AM most mornings to work the crops.  It was about time to harvest.  Them sinners must’ve fallen asleep amongst my crops.  I don’t think it was no coincidence.  I attribute this miracle to the Lord Almighty.”
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