After decades of barely keeping the Star Wars franchise alive since Return of the Jedi, with shameful means of life support such as the new trilogy and converting beloved characters into Legos and Angry Birds, fans around the world rejoiced when another trilogy was announced. Disney has purchased the rights, and is planning to use its considerable wealth in order to trump James Cameron’s Avatar.
Yes, you read correctly. Disney is willing to pump more money into this thing than it cost to render the CGI for magical floating mountains and setting a giant tree on fire. If you thought the effects for Star Wars 1, 2, and 3 were impressive, just wait to see what a Disney budget can produce.
Yes, you read correctly. Disney is willing to pump more money into this thing than it cost to render the CGI for magical floating mountains and setting a giant tree on fire. If you thought the effects for Star Wars 1, 2, and 3 were impressive, just wait to see what a Disney budget can produce.
“Avatar has held the throne long enough,” said Disney’s President and CEO, Robert Iger. “I’m confident that we can outspend that blue piece of crap with ease. In fact, I gave the producers a $300 million minimum budget for the new Star Wars film.”
Of course, that spending goal might be a little ambitious, even for a Star Wars movie. Producers are scratching their heads over how to hit that 300 million mark.
“We’re considering 3D, since that’s always a great way to dump money, but that didn’t go over too well with the re-release of The Phantom Menace…” Said one of the producers. “Besides, that’s kinda Avatar’s thing. If we want to break the spending record, we want to do it our own way. Maybe some really dangerous stunts. Getting sued might help us make up the deficit in costs.”
When asked about this recent development, Avatar creator James Cameron was furious.
“How dare they try to usurp my territory!” He said on his blog. “Creating the beauty of Pandora will remain the most costly use of CGI for decades to come. And you know what? I’m officially announcing a second trilogy. That’s right, after Avatar 2 and 3, I’ll be doing three more that are prequels to the first. If Star Wars and Lord of the Rings can do it, so can I.”
But his threats seemed empty to fans. In a news interview he seemed flustered, unable to come up with a timetable for this new trilogy.
“Um, I’ll probably wait another nineteen or so years,” he told reporters. “Just to be sure the quality of graphics are up to speed with my vision of this second trilogy.”
The new Star Wars is set to be released Dec. 18, 2015, which is the anniversary of when Avatar was released in 2009, another ploy to one-up James Cameron’s masterpiece.
George Lucas was unavailable for comment.
Of course, that spending goal might be a little ambitious, even for a Star Wars movie. Producers are scratching their heads over how to hit that 300 million mark.
“We’re considering 3D, since that’s always a great way to dump money, but that didn’t go over too well with the re-release of The Phantom Menace…” Said one of the producers. “Besides, that’s kinda Avatar’s thing. If we want to break the spending record, we want to do it our own way. Maybe some really dangerous stunts. Getting sued might help us make up the deficit in costs.”
When asked about this recent development, Avatar creator James Cameron was furious.
“How dare they try to usurp my territory!” He said on his blog. “Creating the beauty of Pandora will remain the most costly use of CGI for decades to come. And you know what? I’m officially announcing a second trilogy. That’s right, after Avatar 2 and 3, I’ll be doing three more that are prequels to the first. If Star Wars and Lord of the Rings can do it, so can I.”
But his threats seemed empty to fans. In a news interview he seemed flustered, unable to come up with a timetable for this new trilogy.
“Um, I’ll probably wait another nineteen or so years,” he told reporters. “Just to be sure the quality of graphics are up to speed with my vision of this second trilogy.”
The new Star Wars is set to be released Dec. 18, 2015, which is the anniversary of when Avatar was released in 2009, another ploy to one-up James Cameron’s masterpiece.
George Lucas was unavailable for comment.