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Beard Popularity Helps Werewolf Integration

10/1/2018

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Picture(Integrated Werewolves have always been at the heart of the 'Homeless or Hipster' conversation.)
With Werewolf populations on a dangerous rise in recent years, researchers at the Society for Preternatural Preservation have been desperate for a solution.  While birth and death rates have been about equal for more developed monster species such as Vampires, Ghouls, and Goblins, Werewolves have continued to breed at an unsustainable rate.
 
Various containment strategies have proved only marginally successful.  Contraceptives were provided to Werewolf populations, but in most cases the condoms were immediately chewed up and spat out while they refused to take birth control pills even when they were hidden in spoonfuls of peanut butter.   A Trap, Neuter, and Return (TNR) policy was attempted, in which feral Werewolves were taken in by vets, spayed or neutered, and re-released.  Yet not long after it was discovered that the natural healing factors of the creatures quickly made them fertile again.  More staunch opponents to feral Werewolves have advocated for kill policies, as prey animals such as birds and unattended children are hunted to extinction and traffic accidents soar as Werewolves are hit by cars.

​However, one method that has failed in the past has recently seen more success: educating Werewolves and integrating them into human society.  Thanks to Werewolves possessing excessive body hair even in human form, previous attempts at integration were iffy at best.  Nowadays this is more acceptable, particularly the beards which male Werewolves almost always possess.
 
“It’s nearly impossible for me to shave,” says Patches, a successfully integrated Werewolf. “Our hairs are tough as wire and can grow back in just a few hours.  A few decades ago, I would’ve been ostracized as a shaggy bum.  Nowadays, I can blend into human society as a stylish hipster.”
 
With more and more Werewolves joining human society in secret, their population shows signs of stabilizing, as their reproductive habits shifts from the bestial orgy of living in the wilderness to the mundanity of modern dating.  Young Werewolves often find themselves more invested in their careers than procreation.  And even if they themselves can’t quite figure out contraceptives, the women lured in by their luscious beards are thankfully more cautious.
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