(Harmless miracle drug or instrument of death? Stupid people may never know.) A few weeks ago, scientists around the world rejoiced. They had discovered a simple means to end the world’s problems: a drug that could break down the stubborn stupidity that has weighed down humanity since the dawn of time. Harmless and inexpensive, the scientists who made the discovery were hopeful that this would usher in a new era of peace and prosperity.
That hope was dashed to pieces, however, a short while later. Rather than people lining up to improve their intelligence, the majority of Americans in desperate need of the drug instead started protesting it.
That hope was dashed to pieces, however, a short while later. Rather than people lining up to improve their intelligence, the majority of Americans in desperate need of the drug instead started protesting it.
“It’s that vaccination bull shit again,” says Anette Reagan Macmillan, mother of four and self-proclaimed medical professional. “We been through this before. I don’t care if it’s mumps, measles, or gall-darned Ebola. I’m not letting one of those ‘doctors’ near my babies with a needle-full of poison.”
Macmillan has spearheaded a local campaign to fight back against not just vaccination, but the teaching of evolution, sex education, and other lies masquerading under the name of science. In the past week alone, she’s shared over fifty informational pictures about the dangers of vaccines on Facebook, making a great impression on her friends.
“I cannot believe this is happening,” says William Nye, one of the scientists involved in the discovery. “I’ve tried time and time again to reach out to these people and explain, plain and simple, the reason all of the components of the vaccine are there and any possible effect they can have on the body. I’ve tried it in YouTube videos, country songs, pop-up books, any medium that might reach these people. But they seemed to have developed an immunity to logic and reason.”
“I don’t care what no scientist says. I’m not injecting pure mercury into my kids. That gives them astigmatism, you know,” Macmillan said.
The vaccine has rolled out successfully in other countries around the world, greatly improving the overall intelligence of their population. However, Americans have remained strong in their resistance to it. If statistics and overwhelming scientific evidence could sway the stupidest among us, this nation would be a much different place.
Macmillan has spearheaded a local campaign to fight back against not just vaccination, but the teaching of evolution, sex education, and other lies masquerading under the name of science. In the past week alone, she’s shared over fifty informational pictures about the dangers of vaccines on Facebook, making a great impression on her friends.
“I cannot believe this is happening,” says William Nye, one of the scientists involved in the discovery. “I’ve tried time and time again to reach out to these people and explain, plain and simple, the reason all of the components of the vaccine are there and any possible effect they can have on the body. I’ve tried it in YouTube videos, country songs, pop-up books, any medium that might reach these people. But they seemed to have developed an immunity to logic and reason.”
“I don’t care what no scientist says. I’m not injecting pure mercury into my kids. That gives them astigmatism, you know,” Macmillan said.
The vaccine has rolled out successfully in other countries around the world, greatly improving the overall intelligence of their population. However, Americans have remained strong in their resistance to it. If statistics and overwhelming scientific evidence could sway the stupidest among us, this nation would be a much different place.