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Anonymous Hacks Chipotle, Upcharges All Customers for Guacamole

3/4/2018

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Picture(Is nothing sacred?)
​The prolific hacker group known as Anonymous has struck again, this time aiming to sew chaos among the chain of Mexican fast food restaurants, Chipotle.  They did so by hacking the chain’s computer system and automatically adding a charge for guacamole on every order, even if no guac is present.

​As the price of the addition is already a source of discontent among customers, the added charges spelled disaster for the company.

​“This totally threw off my order,” says Thomas Bagwell, a frequent customer of Chipotle. “I always get the same thing: a double-steak burrito bowl with three tortillas wrapped up on the side.  I don’t even eat the tortillas with the bowl, I just restock my fridge with them.  Anyway, that already runs me like ten bucks.  Adding on another few for some avocado paste?  No thanks.  I’m not made of money.  This hack is truly evil.”
 
It is unknown why Anonymous chose to target the chain; no official statement has been released.  In fact, compared to other fast food restaurants, Chipotle is more sustainable and eco-friendly, pays its workers well, and does none of the things Anonymous is famous for hating.  The commonly accepted theory comes from Reddit user Ima_b0i_70y, who speculates that the additional charge for guacamole is representative of the corruption in capitalist society as a whole.
 
“I’m honestly glad they’re calling attention to this travesty,” says Monica Blanca, an internet blogger. “You’re paying an extra two bucks for a measly four ounces of guacamole.  Not to mention the long lines and the hectic environment customers have to order their food in.  How many people get guac on their burrito in the heat of the moment, without truly understanding the consequences?”
 
Following the drop in sales from customers walking out as well as hundreds of furious calls to corporate, Chipotle is reportedly reconsidering their guac policy.  However, several restaurant managers have stated that this outrage is nothing compared to the anger of customers when stores run out of guacamole completely.
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